Seasons: Be Here

I'm gaining a serious respect for seasons this year. Not because I'm seeing physical seasons by any means, after all it's February and I'm wearing a sundress and lounging by a pool. But because my life is constantly changing... and 'seasons' are the only logical way to explain it.  

Seasons are beautiful because they're different. It's a way of dividing up the year and giving it some spice... some flavor. 

Seasons by definition are things that change. If there were no seasons, years would start to drag on with nothing separating moments. Life would run together. 

Each season is unique. Each season is special. Each season has things to look forward to, and things that you wish would pass a bit more quickly.

I always look forward to winter. 

I make it a tradition of dancing outside in the first snow of the year... frolicking around like a five year old, with my mouth open, trying to catch some of the icy flakes on the tip of my tongue. I love winter and all that it entails. I love that things are romantic in the winter. I love Christmas music, and the thrill of walking, bundled up, underneath twinkly lights, feeling like anything can happen. 

I look forward to summer as well. I look forward to perpetual flip flops, sun dresses, and sun kissed skin. I look forward to the coconut-ty smell of sunscreen, backyard BBQ's, and long summer evenings. 

Each season has a flavor... whether it's creamy egg nog and sparkling apple cider, or smoky back yard burgers and an ice cold beer. 

Each season has a soundtrack as well- songs that take you screeching back to the feeling of the wind whipping through your hair as you drive with the windows down. 

The thing that we forget though is that every season has things that are tough about them too. 

For example... as much as I love November and December... I find it really hard to get excited about January and February. Instead of snow falling, light and fluffy, it is now in dirty piles in the middle of shopping centers. 

Summer is fantastic, but after awhile, you get tired of scorching your hands on your steering wheel and being in a constant state of sweat. 

As I'm finding out... seasons of life are the same way. 

Each season has tastes and playlists. Each season contains a ridiculous amount of beauty and moments when you feel like you're at the top of the world... and every season has those moments when you snooze your alarm and wish that you could move on to the next.

This last month, living in Tanzania, was a month of striving to stay present. 

Tanzania was filled with beauty... that's for sure...wild safaris with lions so close we could barely breathe and adorable children holding our hands and kissing soft little cheeks. 

There were funny, and surprising and ridiculous things that happened this month.

I was told at the beginning of the month that the length of our skirts should be at least to our knees... so I headed to church wearing a knee-length dress! 

But when we stood up to sing a song in front of the hundred person congregation, a woman came up behind me, clearly shocked at the length of my skirt, and wrapped an conga (fabric used for dresses, skirts, towels, holding babies, and much more) around my waste. I had to lift up my guitar so she could get it around my waste. Still playing...

She gave it to me after the service to keep... giving my knees a little slap as if telling them to go back into hiding where they belong.  

I was proposed to this month. Legitimately proposed to, by a Ugandan guy who was 100% convinced that I am the woman that the Lord wants him to marry. He sat me down, and laid out my future in front of my eyes... as it could look, living with him in Uganda. And I had to apologize and explain to him that I was fairly certain that I wasn't his wife, but that God would have someone much better suited for him in the future. Needless to say, I did not see that one coming. 

We saw some amazing things this month. 

A few days ago, we were in a village preaching, and a woman came up to us and asked us to come to her house and pray for her. 

As we got there, she broke down in tears, and sobbed as I rubbed her shoulders... explaining to us that she's HIV positive, that her husband died several years before, and that she feels like the insides of her body are on fire. She was in so much pain.

So we prayed for her, and watched as she accepted Christ... and then got to celebrate with her and wipe her happy tears as the burning in her body was completely gone. 

I got to see him knit six incredibly different, incredibly diverse women together in an INCREDIBLE friendship. He is at WORK in my team, and I'm in love with them.

This month was beautiful, it was good, but at the same time... it was hard.

It became very obvious that we are really in the meat of this thing. 

No longer is the World Race quite as exotic as it once felt. 

There were days that I woke up, and rolled over, convinced that I just couldn't do another moment... or maybe I could... but I definitely didn't want to. 

There were days when I felt like God wasn't teaching me anything... there were days when I felt like he was teaching me too much, and I wanted him to take it down a notch.

There were days when I was convinced that I physically was unable to pray anymore. I was just done. 

I found myself at various points, walking down the street, stepping over manure, avoiding being hit by speeding vans, looking ruefully at my dust covered pedicure, and really wanting to just be anywhere but here.

I was listening to Michael Buble (my favorite!) on my ipod, dreaming of a time and a place where I could wear real shoes again, wear a dress, have a hot shower, and feel girly and special again. 

I was dreaming of dancing the night away, and sipping champagne, and walking around the streets of a big city, and maybe seeing a show. 

I was dreaming of a time that has a shine to it, that's romantic and exciting, and full of glitz and glamour. 

And then I was hit with some wisdom that one of my best friends probably doesn't know I even remember.

My best friend Amanda has a life philosophy that she paints quite often (she's an incredible artist!) 

She writes 'Be Here' and then draws an  hourglass with an arrow pointing right at the middle. It's that place right in between the past and the future... and she says 'Be Here.'

(check out her amazing website! 

http://amandawallace.smugmug.com/amandachristinewallace.blogspot.com)

And she's right. 

God is the same yesterday, today and forever... but the only place that we can actually interact with him is in this very moment. 

The place where we see his miracles, his beauty and the amazing ways he lavishes us with his love, is by focusing and paying attention to what he's doing RIGHT NOW.

Each season is perfectly chosen by the Lord. He had me in Tanzania this month for a million different reasons, and the season was perfect. 

There was an occasional cappuccino, the best cookie of my life, times of laughing and being absolutely ridiculous, and times of crying, and trusting new friends to wipe your tears and not to laugh. There were incredible miracles, and demonstration of God's love and power EVERYWHERE! It was a time of God teaching and refining us, but also giving us gift after gift, and showing us over and over again how present he is in our lives.

That was that season... it was a season for me to be a bit dusty, a bit sweaty, and to sleep inside of my tent, inside of a concrete building. 

That was the season of Tanzania.

As I was walking down the road that day, I remembered Amanda saying 'Be Here!' and so I made a resolution that that's what I would try to do. 

From that moment on, I tried to wake up every single day and make the most of it. I tried with all of my might not to wish any second of it away- knowing that seasons of champagne, of stilettos and romance will come- when it's time for their season- but that THIS is my season right now... and it's perfect.

And the funny thing is, that God rewarded that like crazy. 

I am sitting beside a gorgeous aqua pool, looking out at an even more gorgeous aqua ocean, relaxing, laughing, and playing in Zanzibar. 

God gave us a bit of sparkle, a bit of shine and a lot of rest to tide us over for a while. 

I have no idea what the next season will entail, but it doesn't matter. Because all I need to do is 'Be Here.'