Prequel to this blog: http://stephaniemay.theworldrace.org/?filename=getting-struck-by-lightening
And out of this change has come something else.
I am RIDICULOUSLY in love with Jesus.
I never understood what that meant when people would say it. In fact, I often wondered how you were supposed to interact with Jesus. Do you pray to him AND God? Do you pray to them at the same time? If you pray to God can Jesus hear too? I have a few awkward prayers that I've tried writing out to Jesus before, and they sound stilted and like a letter to a pen pal in elementary school. "Dear Jesus, my name is Stephanie. My favorite color is pink. What's yours?"
But as he replaced my heart, somewhere along the line he became so much more than a pen pal. He became my best friend, he's become my favorite person to talk to, he's been the greatest love I've ever known, spoiling me and romancing me at every turn.
Although I have been drowning myself in delicious... DELICIOUS... Chai Tea, I haven't had coffee since the airport in Delhi. And you know how much I love coffee.
Well, two nights ago, Christy came up to me and handed me a packet of coffee. She told me that during her quiet time, Jesus had told her to give it to me.
Lets think about this for a second.
Jesus... JESUS... the Son of God, who IS God... loves me SO much that:
#1, he knows how much I love coffee
#2, he CARES about how much I love coffee and...
#3 he cares SO much that he'd tell someone else in their quiet time to give me coffee on his behalf.
WHAT?!
Scripture talks a lot about a 'secret place' where we go and meet with God. And to me, it's the place that my mind takes me, to go and hang out with Jesus, when I shut my eyes and just let my mind wander.
Usually it's me and Jesus hanging out on a beach... it's sandy, it's gorgeous, and it feels so real that my heart beat physically slows to a lazy pina colada beat and I can feel the sun warming my face.
But lately it's changed.
Let me preface this with saying that Nepali Christians are amazing. Their church is lively and exciting and feels just like the bible says it should. But they are TONE DEAF and to make matters worse, they LOVE to sing.
Not one Nepali person would know a tune if it slapped them across the face. We found one man that is confident with a guitar in his hands, but he played the chord 'D' over and over again, and sang whatever he pleased, not realizing that the two were supposed to go together.
One woman sounds like Snow White only worse when she sings, it's nasally and high and screechy and the wife of our ministry contact leads the charge, screaming songs out in her off pitch, gravely voice.
At least five people in the congregation have tambourines and they shake them as loudly as possible. And this goes on for HOURS.
And on Saturday (church day), I had had enough. So as I was standing up, and clapping along to the 'beat', I closed my eyes and said "Jesus, can we go to the secret place?"
And instead of the beach, I found myself in a horse drawn sleigh, cuddled up next to Jesus, under a blanket, a steaming cup of Starbucks in my hand (complete with the holiday themed coffee collar). We trotted along through the most magical, beautiful, snowy winter wonderland, Michael Buble's Christmas album filling the air, complete with decorated fir trees, twinkely lights, and lightly falling snow.
Jesus knew how much I was missing the Christmas season in Colorado- so he took me there.
Yesterday morning, I woke up at about 5:45 and really was hoping for some more sleep before getting up for my quiet time. But I felt like Jesus was telling me to get up and go watch the sunrise.
It was cold so I fought him on it before finally giving in.
As I sat up on the roof of the building behind my house, listening to the BEST music (which he specifically told me to listen to), I got to see the most gorgeous sunrise, hazy with morning fog and smoke rising up from the huts in our village.
He's been romancing me like crazy, leaving me giddy and head over heels in love. I wouldn't be saying this if I hadn't experienced it myself... because up until now this made no sense to me either.
Something else has happened too... since I became this new woman... a purple dress wearer- if you will... I've been seeing the craziest, most amazing things happen.
I've always heard of the gifts of the spirit, but I never knew what they were, and I certainly had never seen them in action.
When I thought of prophecy, I pictured professor Tralawney in Harry Potter, squinting through her coke bottle glasses at a cup of tealeaves.
Now brace yourself, but I can actually hear God talking to me.
"My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me."
John 10:27
More accurately, there's a stream of spontaneous thought going in my head that isn't from me. It sounds like my voice, but it isn't. It is my thoughts, but they're interrupting thoughts. They're thoughts that are not ones that I had before and are full of things I didn't know yet.
I can ignore them completely if I'm not tuning in well, but when I take the time to listen, they're always there, speaking to me and directing me in the most loving and sweet way (sometimes with a hint of sarcasm when I need a kick in the butt.)
This morning, during worship I asked God what he had to say to me and he said;
"You are redeemed, you are lovely, you are chosen Stephanie. You are special, I adore you, I am pleased. You are royal. You are my heiress. I am pleased baby. Keep going. Keep seeking. You hear me, keep listening. You always have heard me. I LOVE you. You are loved."
This morning I woke up in a haze of smoke that felt so thick I should have been evacuated. The surrounding village likes to burn their trash first thing in the morning, filling the air with the most horrible smelling smoke that is literally inescapable. I wasn't happy.
So with a scarf tied tightly around my nose and my mouth, I began looking around frantically for my favorite book, Cold Tangerines, hoping that it would help me see the beauty and joy in being choked with smelly trash smoke. But I couldn't find it anywhere.
At breakfast I asked my team about it and nobody had seen it.
So during worship, I asked Jesus about it. "Jesus.... Where is my Cold Tangerines book?" I figured he'd know.
And he said "Under your bed."
So when I got back upstairs I looked under my bed but didn't see it.
A few minutes later I told Christy about what he had said, but that I didn't see my book. She looked under my bed again, and there it was. It was tucked in my bug net, hanging beneath my bed. It had slipped back but been caught in the net.
It was UNDER MY BED.
Jesus helped me find my book. I am BAFFLED by this.
First of all, that I asked him the stupidest question and he answered it, but second of all, that I asked him a question, he answered it, I HEARD the answer and it was right!!
"When I called, you answered me; you made me bold and stouthearted."
Psalm 138:3
This last weekend, the church we're partnering with had a man from Cameroon come and do what they called a Healing Crusade. It was basically a large church gathering where they prayed for healing for a lot of people.
I had never seen anything like this, so I didn't know what to expect.
The first day, I was wandering around taking pictures of all the people, when the speaker asked if anyone wanted to be prayed for and wanted to accept Jesus and become a Christian. I saw a man sitting on the ground, a large walking stick next to him, clearly unable to walk without an extreme amount of pain, raise his hand, but then after a few moments he put it back down... looking uncertain if he could get up and come to the front. (man on the right)
I stood their for a second arguing as I heard "Go help him!" in my head... and finally I gave in. I walked over to the man, and offered him my hand. He took it, and I helped him up. Bracing himself in between my arm and his walking stick, we slowly made our way to the front, where he accepted Christ and became a Christian.
A few minutes later, the man up front prayed for healing for the man... and I watched him lay down his walking stick and walk back and forth, strength and agility returning to him with each step (check out my Nepal video to see this http://stephaniemay.theworldrace.org/?filename=light-of-your-face-nepal-video)
The next day, I was wandering around taking pictures (again), and they invited people up to be prayed for healing. I saw a man being pushed forward by what looked to be his son, but he looked embarrassed and kept shying away, not wanting to go up.
Again, I heard God say, "Go pray for him!"
So I walked up to him and mimed to the best of my ability asking if I could pray for him. Good thing I mimed because not only did he not speak English, but he was deaf.
Having absolutely no idea what I was doing, I placed my hands over his ears and began to pray that God would open his ears.
Every few minutes, the man's entire body would begin to convulse, and so I held his head tighter, praying louder. I prayed for probably twenty minutes, until finally, something happened.
We mimed to him that somebody was going to go behind him and clap and that he was to copy whatever clap he heard.
Someone went a good eight feet behind him and clapped... the man clapped. (I looked around accusingly at the group that was circling us to make sure they didn't cheat and help him.) The person behind him clapped three times... and the man clapped three times.
He could hear.
God healed a completely deaf man... and I was the one who got to pray for him. I got to be a part of it.
I still cannot believe this.
(the man in the purple)
Something amazing and miraculous has happened to me here in Nepal. I am new. I have confidence, joy and love radiating from my heart to the top of my head down to the bottoms of my flip-flops.
"The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song."
Psalm 28:7
I walk around full of excitement, joy and absolute ridiculous love for Jesus all the time.
Today, I rode in the storage compartment on the top of a public bus (the inside was full), 15 feet off the ground, bumping down the windy dirty road through rice paddies and fields of sugar cane, listening to music, a smile plastered to my face as the wind whipped through my hair. If I had had a seat, I would have been bouncing out of it. I am free... I am new... I am exactly who I was always meant to be.
As I was bounding up the mountain on our hike I remembered this verse.
"It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect. He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he enables me to stand on the heights...you stoop down and make me great. You broaden the path beneath me, so that my ankles do not turn."
Psalm 18:32-36
I am walking a new path. It's crazy, it's ridiculous, (tonight I ate pigeon for dinner, and am pretty sure I ate a pigeon's liver), it's beyond belief, but it's incredible. (I rode an elephant yesterday!!) I have no idea where the path is going. It twists, it turns and sometimes I'm not sure how I'm going to get over the boulders. But God has given me new legs.
"The Sovereign Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to go on the heights."
Habakkuk 3:19
I'm new, I'm in love with Jesus, I'm free, and I'm full of joy so ridiculous, it's beyond anything I've ever experienced before.
"In my anguish I cried to the Lord, and he answered by setting me free."
Psalm 118:5
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